I can't believe it's been two years.

Aren't they gorgeous?



Aren't ALL of them gorgeous?

Just goes to show you that there *are* happy endings.

I doubt there's going to be a run on my blog over this, but I wanted to fall in and support Tertia and this is really the only way I can.

I found Tertia's blog by accident -- I probably clicked on a link or two from Chez Miscarriage and was a daily reader ever since. While Tertia and I have little in common except for that link, I found her journey compelling. And since Chez Miscarriage is really what sparked my interest in becoming a surrogate, I suppose I'll forever associate the one with the other.

Tertia's book was like reading her blog in one simple, hardcopy place. I made the mistake of reading it on our trip to Disney World, without thinking that I might have to deal with the kids in the backseat in the midst of the passages about Ben and Luke.

"Mommy, why are you crying?" isn't what I wanted to try to answer as we sped down I-95 to see the princesses.

But to participate in the book shower, we're supposed to comment on one of a few topics to discuss. I addressed one of them:

("Tertia has an urge to chat with the others in her clinic waiting room. Do you ever wish people would break into spontaneous, supportive conversation? Describe your ideal waiting room.")

a little bit in an old post, oh it must have been back sometime in mid-2006. I can't find it now for some reason -- probably because easyjournal has no search function.

As I sat in waiting rooms with couples, but women alone mostly, who were going through what I was going through (IVF) but without the two kids at home and the knowledge that no matter what, everything really WOULD be okay for me. Doing IVF without that stress was one thing. It is physically demanding and throws your hormones into a loop even without the desperation I know I would have felt if I'd been going through it for myself.

The stress that I'd be letting down S & R was quite another. When our first transfer in June 2006 didn't work, I really really really didn't want to have to be the one to call S and tell her the news. But I had to. It was awful.

We ALL ended up with our happy ending. I like to think that everyone does, eventually, even though I'm sure that's not really true. If I thought about it too long, I might get more thoughts about doing all of it over again....or I'd think about it until reality hit.

To help anyone who is struggling with infertility and/or loss, I post the following to assist in finding Tertia's book and her blog:

The link for Amazon is http://www.amazon.com/So-Close-Infertile-Addicted-Hope/dp/0620430303/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b/179-3646424-9683355. Tertia's blog is here: http://www.tertia.org

Monday night was an example of just how crazy things have been lately. There were no fewer than THREE places I was supposed to be, not counting being at home with my family.

Option 1: Attend the board meeting and regular meeting for the charity organization I belong to
Option 2: Play soccer in the rain/cold and maybe lose some of these extra 7 lbs
Option 3: Make a little extra cash working evening hours at the local biannual consignment sale

Since I'd spent every spare minute during the previous week working the consignment sale.....and I'd decided that maybe those 7 lbs wasn't worth freezing in the rain.....I went to the charity meeting.

But I am not going to let my schedule get so out of control again.

Yeah, right.

Tomorrow I'm headed off to a two-day overnight seminar for my regular job. Is it sick that I'm looking forward to it as a restful reprieve?

I have a love/hate relationship with March. For some reason, the ups and downs of the weather really end up wreaking havoc on everyone's health, and for years DH has insisted he has spring allergies that come out in March and make him miserable. He's resisted going to an actual allergist to diagnose him until this year.

All that poking and prodding all to find out that he, like his son and the rest of us, has NO allergies. It's just the leftover winter crap that makes us all sick this time of year.

The whole "in like a lion, out like a lamb" thing has never been more true than it was this year.

THIS was the first day of March:


Not six days later, it was a solid 50 (yes, 5-0) degrees warmer -- causing DD to say, "THIS is the lamb part, right?":


But then it got cold again. I was so looking forward to putting the heavy coats away.

Now here we are, three days from our big vacation, and at 4 this morning, DS was up puking. I hate March.

I grew up overseas. Well, not my *whole* childhood, but the first 8 years or so. My dad was military and we moved around a lot. While it made me resilient, I longed to have a place where I was "from."

DH and I have traveled quite a bit. Between the two of us, we've been to most of Latin America, Europe, and Asia. We both want our kids to grow up appreciating other cultures and understanding that not everyone has what we are lucky enough to have. And so we are always interested in pursuing opportunities that could take us abroad for a couple years (or five). I want to balance that by not selling our house, and coming back before the kids are in high school -- so that they feel like they have a true hometown.

Well, in the past few months, DH has been in initial discussions about some positions that may or may not happen.

So I started planning, because that's what I do.

Some opportunities were solidifying right when the change in administration occurred, and so all of that ended up on the shelf until the new bosses were in place and people knew what direction his office was going to be going in.

So then I dropped it. Then he learned of a short-fuse opportunity that would have had us on the complete other side of the world before July. So I planned for contingencies again. And then he decided the job wasn't what he was looking for.

Now the original stuff is back on the table, though still tentative. At least now, I don't have to scramble to check out the international schools online until 2am, since I've already done some of the preliminary research. But the timeline is now several months later, so IF we go, it would be this summer. And schools there start in mid-August (instead of after Labor Day here).

Just when I'd finally gotten the whole schedule of summer camps set for DD. Through the end of August. It figures.